Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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