You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
