You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
