if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
