i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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