Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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