I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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