your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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