smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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