I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
