apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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