just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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