There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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