? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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