i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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