It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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