there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
