That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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