I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
