Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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