Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
