Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
