Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
