Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
