that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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