do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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