your parents love me but you hate me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
sarcasm needs its own font
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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