Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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