dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
