i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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