when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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