oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
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Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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