I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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