it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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