Hey man sorry I got all grabby
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
3 2 1 whiskey
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
