They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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