remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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