Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
