You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
