Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
