I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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