Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
