bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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