I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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