Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
