He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
