rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
