Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
