Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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