it was like his penis was on wheels.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
