lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
