Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
