i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He kissed a someone with a penis
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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