i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want nice things and good sex
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
