why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
