Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
