Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
