don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
