with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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