It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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