it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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