it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
