why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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